Bipolar Depression

Bipolar Depression

Since I heard about Robin Williams suicide, I've been reading a lot about people that are bipolar, their families.  How they feel all the time.  How their families are affected. Plus, how some turned to God for help.  

Below is a story of a few people put into one story so no one's can be connect to any one person.

My oldest daughter has bipolar. I never knew because I didn't know the signs. I just thought she was fiery red head as a child and then a typical teen. When she moved on her own and I went to visit, she always was fine so I never knew. When she moved close to home because she was losing her home if she didn't pay off her debts. She then had enough money and got a home in my town a few minutes away from me. I was just happy because I could see her and my grandson often. She is a compulsive spender and when she runs out of money she goes in a deep depression. I started seeing all the meds she had for acne, sleeping, and anxiety and I'm still not aware. Call me blind or dumb, it wasn't that I didn't want to admit she has a problem other than her compulsive spending.  I thought her anxiety was because of her bills, problem sleeping was from me and my mom and acne....well it's acne. 

When she lost her home and had to move to an apartment that's when I really seen the change that wasn't normal because even when we tried to help, it never was good enough. She would bring up her childhood that I loved my younger daughter more then her. She didn't remember all the things my husband and I done for her only the bad and that wasn't even the truth. She would change it and make it worse than it was and add things my husband and I looked at each other and said,
"What is she talking about??? That never happened!" 

When she would be in a deep depression and crying non-stop, I would tell her we all get depressed. Think of something else....what to make for dinner....watch tv and get into what you are watching etc. But through her tears she would say, "You don't understand, I can't...I can't stop!

I'm so scared for her even more now because of Robin Williams. We gave depression a new name, bipolar, but we really don't know why some have it and some don't. There is no cure, only meds that may help them control it somewhat, and yet some will stop taking it and continue to suffer. The more I read about people that are dealing with it, they all have the same things in common. They say they never feel love, even if they know they are. They never feel truly happy even when they are laughing and most importantly they hear voices in their heads all the time telling, their not loved, not to trust anyone, people are always out to get them, their not good enough to love. They said it's like a demon sucking the joy out of life and some said they can relate to the movie the "Exorcist". The ones that turned to God for help, stopped taking their meds and said they still hear the voices, but not as loud, like it's buried and not on the service. They said they sometimes slip back, but not for long or as often. 

That being said, I pray for all the people with bipolar depression to seek help from a doctor, tell a close friend, family member, pastor, priest, rabbi, etc., but more importantly from God for help. God listens, he is there for you. All you have to do is cry out to Him for help. Even if you are an atheist and don't believe God is real....WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE??? CAN IT GET ANY WORSE??? GIVE GOD A CHANCE TO HELP YOU AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!  

When that demon tries to stop you, and he will saying..."God's not real or you're not good enough for God to help you."  That's when you cry out the loudest to God, telling Him what you are hearing in your head and what you are feeling inside.  God WILL  answer!

God bless you †